Monday, June 10, 2013

Yay Irony

Yesterday, I realized something about myself.  I have developed free floating anxiety because I feel like I should have schoolwork to do.  I start to panic and just do a whole ton all at once to make up for it.  Yesterday I cleaned every surface in my room, did 5 loads of laundry, organized my bookshelf and cleaned and perfectly made my bed.   Why? Cause I couldn't not do anything.

I feel sorta betrayed.  I finally get the free time I wanted and I can't enjoy it cause I was overdoing it so much.  I feel agitated and panicky now that I have nothing to do, even though I worked the majority of the day.   I think I managed to develop some sort of mental disorder.  I'd ask to see a therapist about it, but I have a pathological fear of them.  Which, makes things difficult.

On the good side, my boyfriend said the idea of me panicking cause I don't have anything to do was sorta adorable.  That helped calm me down something and I found myself smiling a lot.

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